


negotiating space

by groceries



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Ending, Domestic, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-02-25 12:55:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22136425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/groceries/pseuds/groceries
Summary: the war is over. the chase is over. naruto and sasuke wonder where one begins after everything else has ended. how do you negotiate the space between you when its gone from thousands of miles to a foot apart in an instant? what keeps you from touching him? why, after all these years, does that make you sweat? why is it so hard to say?
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 7
Kudos: 69





	1. familiarity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> each song corresponds to each chapter :)  
> [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7pSPwecARPF7C2rsyWuter?si=qXC00JDqTIK3-Yrhp3x-3A)

_"Why do you keep on involving yourself with me?"_

_"Hmh. You know that already. I mean, c'mon, don't you? Your body can't move but your mouth sure can-"_

_"Just answer me!"_

_"'Cause you're my friend."_

_"You've told me that before... but what exactly, does that mean to you?"_

_"You ask me to explain it, but honestly, it’s not like I really understand it either._

_It's just - when I see you, take on stuff and get all messed up, it kinda, well, it hurts me too._

_It hurts so much inside that I can't just leave it alone, y'know?"_

He still felt Naruto's words sinking into him, seeping into his skin like warm sunlight.

He felt them in his sleep, a heavy slumber not much different than the one they had fell into on top of the broken Valley. Dreamless, his thoughts returned to what Naruto had said. His words made a home in every corner of his mind. It was welcomed. In his sleep, Sasuke strained his ear to hear them closely. They started to fade away. His world was quiet again, briefly, before he started to recognize the soft noises of chatter, echoing footsteps, and trees caught in the breeze.

He was still flat on his back, but he felt crisp sheets under his fingertips instead of cold stone. The room smelled clean. The light was bright, bouncing off the white walls and white linen. It was sunlight. The window was cracked open, and Sasuke could hear voices in the distance, folks walking the streets of Konohagakure. He could guess what time it was, given how busy it sounded outside. The internal clock of having been born and raised in the Leaf Village wasn't broken. He had even forgotten what month it was, but it smelled like October, and the temperature was right, too.

_Home..._

It almost, if only for a second, felt like he had never left. He wanted to peek outside but knew sitting up would hurt. His eyes drifted shut listening to the soft murmurs just outside the room. He couldn't put a name to any of them. None of the voices he heard came from his left, so he didn't spare much attention to them. He vaguely remembered being put here, but definitely remembered Naruto starting some sort of argument to make sure they weren't separated. He didn't even need to look to know that Naruto was still beside him.

He could feel himself drifting in and out, his mind wandering back over the past twenty-four hours, the past days, months. Further. So easily memories floated to the surface of their younger days, of Naruto's boisterous voice overpowering the chatter in the streets, layered over the leaves caught in the wind. How different his voice sounded now, how much it had changed. How familiar it was. How Sasuke could still find it in a crowd.

Gingerly, he turned his head. Naruto laid across from him, bandages from head to toe. Sasuke's throat tightened from a knot starting to tangle in his stomach. He looked at the swelling on his face, the places where bandages needed replacing. The amputated arm, mirroring his own.

_Why would you go so far for me?_

He understood now. He swallowed what he couldn't say then, and what he couldn't figure out how to say now.

Naruto stirred. He found the clean smell of the room startling; it was a stark contrast to the smell of the battlefield, and of the waterfall. It took him a moment to recognize where he was; on instinct, he flicked his eyes over to find Sasuke on the other side of the room, his head turned towards him, fast asleep. Naruto watched his chest rise and fall in an unfettered rhythm; he sighed in relief.

He laid there, just watching him, for what felt like hours. He almost didn't believe it.

_This can't be real._

All the bruising on Sasuke's face couldn't hide the sense of peace that poured out of his features; it looked like the first time he had slept in ages, Naruto thought. He wanted so bad to reach out and to softly sweep away the hair that had fallen across his forehead. He wanted so badly to prove that the boy next to him wasn't his mind playing tricks, or giving him another sad dream to wake up from. That he really had heard Sasuke's voice right next to his ear again.

He mustered the tiny bit of strength he had to try to flip over; his ribs disagreed, his head and back too, and it was hard to balance with one arm, but he eventually made it onto his stomach. And he reached. He reached until every last tired muscle in his arm and fingers ached. He scooted as close to the edge of his bed as he could, before his core promised to lose his balance if he pushed it any further. He wiggled his fingers one last time before giving up, letting his arm dangle off the side. He just wanted to make sure.

He watched the sunlight fall on his face, just as he had watched the moonlight rest on his tired eyes. Again he waited, patiently, for Sasuke to wake up. For the first time in his life, he felt like he could wait forever. It was enough to have Sasuke here, beside him. The more he thought about it, the more it even felt like a little too much. Despite a massive headache, the achiness of his body, and how truly exhausted he was, he started to well up. His pillow collected most of the tears, making a warm spot under his cheek. A few traveled down his nose, tickling as they went. He closed his eyes, content to wait for Sasuke to wake up on his own time.

He heard Naruto's suddenly like an alarm clock, pulling him out of his sleep with a jump. He watched as Naruto argued with Tsunade, catching only bits and pieces as he woke up. He assumed it was about him. He didn't expect a warm welcome. Naruto cut his sentence short when he saw that Sasuke was awake. The brightest sunflower of a smile spread over his face.

_Always the brightest thing in a room._

Naruto flinched as he made his way to try to sit up, moving a little faster than his injuries would warrant.

"What did I just tell you about no sudden movements, nothing strenuous, REST, that goes for you, too," Tsunade said, pointing her finger at Sasuke.

"Both of you are going to be released by tomorrow, if not sooner. We've got to make room for the others. Getting as many people out of emergency conditions is our priority. While we're glad to have you back," she tugged on Naruto's ear, "as long as you're not bleeding out, we have to release you from the hospital."

Naruto nodded as she stood to leave.

"And if you don't both thank Sakura for the work she's done on your arms, you'll have me to contend with."

She stopped in the doorway.

"Naruto. Well done. You kept your promise."

She cast a glance at Sasuke as she left.

Naruto sat up, gently touching the bandaged end of his arm.

"Sakura really did do a good job, it doesn't hurt at all." He grinned before looking down at Sasuke's arm. "Does yours?"

Sasuke cleared his throat, trying to find his voice after waking up. "No, not at all."

_I'm sorry._

The words bounced back and forth in his mind. It felt like such a cheap thing to say at this point. The time to apologize had long passed, but still, he found himself stuck on what to say. He knew there was more to be said, even after they both bared their hearts at the Valley. He felt like the conversation wasn't over, and inside, he hoped it wasn't.

Naruto gave him a tired smile before Sasuke turned his head. Naruto wondered why he does that; breaks their eye contact when it lingers. His smile faded. He wondered how to negotiate space when he wanted to be so close, but he didn't know if Sasuke wanted the same thing. He felt like Sasuke finally understood what he had been trying to get through to him all these years, but what if he still didn't? Naruto wanted him to feel safe, and to not feel alone. He didn't want to invade Sasuke's space. Just enter it. Just sit in it with him.

He tried to put it in the back of his mind without blurting it out, but it leaked out as a question anyway.

"Hey, so, when we get out of here, do you wanna stay at my place for awhile? Just until you get your bearings."

Sasuke looked over.

"I still know my way around, you know."

"It looks a little different when you've been gone a long time though. Don't want you to look like a tourist or anything."

"You're just gonna make me eat at Ichiraku's."

"Duh! I mean I didn't really plan you a welcome home party so at least go out to eat with me."

Sasuke lazily rolled his head towards the ceiling.

"You're the only one who would've been at that party anyway."

"Uh not true. Sakura, and Kakashi, and Bushy Brow..."

Sasuke gave Naruto a look when his list came to a short stop.

"And I'm sure other people too!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, moving his gaze out the window. In the pause, Naruto's voice softened.

"So what if it was just me, anyway?"

Sasuke looked back at him, his big blue eyes tender, full of something that he thought Naruto was trying to say, but he didn't.

"Still worth celebrating." This time Naruto broke eye contact, not wanting to pin Sasuke into any obligation to respond. There were so many things he wanted to tell him, just so he could get them off his chest. He always knew that it was confusing, and complicated, and hard to describe what he meant when he talked about his bond with Sasuke, but even after explaining it to him at the Valley, Naruto still felt like he needed to find a better way to say it. Or to show it. He just hoped that Sasuke would let him.


	2. subjectivity

Naruto was ushered out of the room by Sakura, with all his objections being met with maddeningly adequate retorts.

"Why are you not letting Sasuke go first?"

"You healed up faster."

"Well how long will it take?"

"Anything from a few hours to a day."

"Why can't you let us go at the same time?"

"I just told you!"

"I can wait until he's healed!"

"Naruto!"

Sakura pushed him to face her. "We need the bed for other patients. I know you want to hang around, but we don't have the space, or the time." She squeezed his shoulder. "If I had it my way, you'd stay." With a sad smile, she let go, walking briskly back to the room.

Naruto looked around for the exit; after not finding a sign, he asked a nurse, and then another nurse when he got lost again. He passed dozens of familiar faces. Friends grabbed his shoulder and threw their arms around him and ranted and raved about how glad they were to see him. Lee and Choji both hoisted him off the ground by his waist; Shikamaru slapped him on the back, hesitating before Naruto pulled him into a hug; Kiba all but bulldozed him to the ground. Even Ino had to quickly step away from her duties to mutter "you little shit" before hugging him tight. In the merriment, Naruto caught a glimpse of an open room, where he could see the back of Kakashi's head. The group fell quiet, all eyes on the still image in the cracked door. "Gai-sensei was badly injured," Tenten said. "We're not sure what will happen, or if the doctors can do much."

Having heard the clamor and following hush, Kakashi looked back through the opening, seeing Naruto in the margin. The door opened wide, and Kakashi braced himself on the door frame. He looked the oldest he had ever looked, Naruto thought.

The tactile memory of Kakashi carrying him back after his first duel with Sasuke rushed to his mind as his sensei hugged him - warm, and bittersweet. "Glad you're okay," he managed to choke out. Naruto squeezed him back, catching small glimpses of Gai's burnt and motionless body on the hospital bed. "I'm glad you are too."

By the time he made it outside, it was well past noon. He took in a big, long breath of fresh air, and sat down on the steps. Here he would wait. He crushed leaves in his hands, content doing nothing for once in his life but wait. Managing the anticipation that bubbled around in his stomach made it feel like an active task.

Sasuke was released just a hair over an hour later. Tsunade entered the room, explaining that there would be some discussions at her convenience later down the road. About treason, about a pardon, about a lot of things Sasuke didn't immediately care about. When he was let out, he had to take a minute to orient himself; not only to his surroundings, but to the waves of people. To the recognizable faces that were all grown up. To the names he couldn't remember. To the voices melting together in an incomprehensible chatter. He strained his ear for Naruto's, finding no notes of his in the cacophony.

He was like a ship lost at sea trying to maneuver through the aisles. He passed by the nurse's station; through the glass, he watched Sakura hug Ino, whose hands cradled Sakura's head so tenderly that he felt a nameless understanding. Whatever he was witnessing, he recognized it. He felt happy for Sakura. As if he was relieved that she had finally come to understand herself.

He continued on down the way, trying to guess if he was on the right floor for the exit. When he opened the doors to leave, the noise of everything inside was almost muted when they closed. It seemed like a majority of the village had to be cooped up in the hospital, compared to how quiet it was outside.

Naruto's voice filled the quiet space. "Hey, you made it!"

Sasuke raised his eyebrows. "Haven't you been out for awhile?"

"What, did you think I wouldn't wait for you?"


	3. fondness

The evening sun rested heavy and warm on their backs as they made their way into town. Passing by the old playground, only the breeze bothered the swings. It caught the red and ochre leaves littering the road, scattering them around their feet. As they got farther in, the village seemed more like itself; bustling and busy. But folks were less busy with errands, and busier with helping jonin get supplies to the hospital, and asking neighbors if any of their loved ones might be there. Ichiraku's was closed, as expected; Naruto wondered for long.

They clamored their way up the stairs to Naruto's apartment. "Well, welcome home," Naruto said as he turned the lights on, kicking off his shoes. "It's so much smaller than I remember it," Sasuke said as he looked around. He picked up a newspaper on the kitchen table. It was from the beginning of the year. **Konoha Still Rebuilding: Life After Pein.** "Me too, honestly. It seems smaller every time I get to come home."

Naruto sat down on his bed with a thud. Sasuke wandered in, taking in his surroundings as he went. Naruto thought he looked like how cats do when they waltz into a room, just to see what's up.

"Do you wanna sit down?" Naruto scooted over a few inches.

"I guess."

Sasuke's weight shifted the bed. Naruto's fingers curled in the blanket.

"I," Naruto found himself fishing for words, any words, not knowing why they were so hard to find. "You can stay for as long as you like, or leave whenever. There's um, stuff to eat in the kitchen, I've got some extra clothes."

He heard Sasuke make a quiet huff, and looking over, saw him smirk. "I'm starving."

Naruto smiled, getting up to go to the kitchen. Sasuke heard him rummage through a cabinet before hollering to the bedroom. "Chicken or tonkotsu?" Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Chicken."

~

When Sasuke got out of the bath, Naruto had been making a little bed on the floor with a stack of blankets and a pillow. Sasuke blotted his hair with a towel. "Is that for me?"

Naruto looked up, did a double take, and then quickly looked back down at his task at hand. Who knew you could be so busy straightening a pile of blankets. "No, asshole, it's for me, you can take the bed." Sasuke gave him a little kick in the rear, which got a disgruntled noise in response. "Get up, idiot, this is your house. Sleep in your own bed." Naruto stood up, meeting him face to face, his hands on his hips.

"It's my house, and my rules. You're the guest, you get the bed."

His cheeks were pink. Despite all his more grown features, they took a backseat to how much he suddenly looked like the little brat in the orange and blue jacket again. He'd seen it so many times before. Sasuke's memory flooded with images of Naruto running up to him as a child, of their little stare-downs, of their repeated "accidents." He looked away, his own face getting warm. "You'll just complain the whole time. If I'm the guest, I should get to say where I want to sleep."

Naruto got louder but couldn't help but start smiling. "That's not how this works!" "I don't care!" Sasuke said, with more of a laugh than he meant to. Naruto paused, and they looked at each other. It was some sort of exchange; something had just been offered in that moment that neither one of them remembered the name of.

"Are you going to let me sleep or not."

Naruto huffed. "Only if you stop being so difficult."

Sasuke curled up on the makeshift bed and Naruto crawled into his. After a few minutes, Naruto peeked his head over the edge.

"You warm enough?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

"... Naruto?"

"Hm?"

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it..."

Naruto trailed off with a yawn. Sasuke found himself watching the ceiling fan for at least an hour. He wasn't sure what he needed, or what he wanted. Maybe it was to get rid of the heavy thing in his chest. Why was it still heavy? Wasn't it left at the Valley? Something still lingered beneath his ribs. Something unsaid. He watched it try to form like clouds of smoke above his head into the slumbering room of Naruto's apartment, watching it disperse and fall apart in the spinning fan.

The time blinked on Naruto's nightstand clock. **5:27**. The sun hadn't peered in the window yet, and it was very cold. Sasuke bundled himself with one of the blankets underneath him. He found himself taking a quiet tour of the apartment, noting the things he recognized and the things he didn't. Naruto was the same messy person he always had been. Scrolls half unrolled on the floor, loose kunai tossed in corners and clothes strewn about. His potted plant was twice the size he remembered it.

He picked up the picture of Team 7, running his thumb over a chip in the frame. His legs waded through warm, moving waters. The sun made his head hot. A few small, smooth stones were in his hand. Naruto's voice was behind him.

" _Your heart's twice the size of your head."_

_"So? Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to write people off."_

_"It's a waste of my time."_

_"It's not like you're short on time! Do you even remember anybody else's name?"_

_"..."_

_"Haha. C'mon, some of them really stick out. Bushy brow."_

_"... Rock Lee."_

_"Okay uhh.... bug. Or, okay that one's hard. Dog."_

_"..."_

_"Seriously? Not even a guess?"_

_"I remember yours and that's more than enough."_

_"You sure are an asshole."_

_"Then why are you hanging around me?"_

_"Because you're my friend. I know I'm an asshole too sometimes, anyway."_

He put the picture down. He knew the person Naruto had grown to become; that was obvious. But he couldn't help but wonder about all the things he had missed. How do you ask that. How do you come home to someone after so long? A living, breathing home; what Naruto always had been. No skeletons in the closet, no ghosts. Nothing hidden, nothing missing. Not a place, a person.

Naruto was still asleep when he walked to the kitchen. He opened the cabinets over the stove, finding nothing but a near-empty box of cereal. No tea, no anything. The other cabinet only held colorful, styrofoam packages of instant ramen. Most were the standard flavors - miso, chicken, tonkotsu - but there were a few special ones, like an extra spicy flavor and a tomato flavor. Sasuke pouted. _Why didn't he offer the tomato one...?_

Some golden sunshine was just starting to sneak in when Naruto's footsteps made their way to the kitchen. He was rubbing his eye. "It's weird not being able to rub both eyes at once anymore-" He opened them to see all his kitchen cabinets open, and Sasuke holding a cup of ramen. "How are you still alive?" he said, gesturing around at the nonperishable, nutrient-free menu of the kitchen.

Naruto crumpled. "Be nice!" Sasuke chucked the cup at Naruto, watching it bounce off his head. Naruto's mouth hung open. This was war. And their first one-handed one, too.

"We're getting groceries!" Sasuke said, dodging as he went. Naruto's laughter filled his ears.

_Fondness. That's it. It was fondness._


End file.
